This week was the induction week at IDI, I was glad to know that I had passed, and I am also excited about the new website. It is so modern and stylish.
I am glad to have made it this far. I can still remember the first admissions, in fact the “new website” looks a lot like the admission one.
One thing I learnt from all this is to be grateful. My whole academic career, I have never failed and I have always been a top achiever. I can recall a point when it become the norm. I will go to a price giving knowing that I will scope all the awards. It became second nature and that was not fun or exciting. It became predictable and thus mechanical.
Then everything changed, in the eleventh grade, and it was not because I went to a new school, but because for the first time in life, I was confused. I could not figure out what I wanted to study. I had so many options: piano, the arts, psychology, law and medicine. I had the points and the brains, but I did not want a ‘mechanical’. God created us to be dynamic beings having the right to choose what we want for our lives, and living or thinking the way I was, that’s not what I want to be.
It did not take failure, it took the unknown. It is a state of mind where you are not sure of what you want. This situation can come about when you think or know you did not provide what you were supposed to or required to do. Or, a situation beyond your power occurred and left hopeless. Was there even something like that? Something that is more powerful than you. I always believed and thought that if you have Jesus, the same power he has is in you. In other words you become him, you are him. Nevertheless since you are human, pride kicks in and you forget that you are who or what you are because of him, or ungratefulness, you start to demand internally what is not even possible, or unnecessary. You cease to see the wonder of God in everything and only see the norm.