This week was the induction week at IDI, I was glad to know that I had passed, and I am also excited about the new website. It is so modern and stylish.
I am glad to have made it this far. I can still remember the first admissions, in fact the “new website” looks a lot like the admission one.
One thing I learnt from all this is to be grateful. My whole academic career, I have never failed and I have always been a top achiever. I can recall a point when it become the norm. I will go to a price giving knowing that I will scope all the awards. It became second nature and that was not fun or exciting. It became predictable and thus mechanical.
Then everything changed, in the eleventh grade, and it was not because I went to a new school, but because for the first time in life, I was confused. I could not figure out what I wanted to study. I had so many options: piano, the arts, psychology, law and medicine. I had the points and the brains, but I did not want a ‘mechanical’. God created us to be dynamic beings having the right to choose what we want for our lives, and living or thinking the way I was, that’s not what I want to be.
It did not take failure, it took the unknown. It is a state of mind where you are not sure of what you want. This situation can come about when you think or know you did not provide what you were supposed to or required to do. Or, a situation beyond your power occurred and left hopeless. Was there even something like that? Something that is more powerful than you. I always believed and thought that if you have Jesus, the same power he has is in you. In other words you become him, you are him. Nevertheless since you are human, pride kicks in and you forget that you are who or what you are because of him, or ungratefulness, you start to demand internally what is not even possible, or unnecessary. You cease to see the wonder of God in everything and only see the norm.
It was amazing to get back to Swakopmund after 6 years.
Today, I was so shocked when someone I just met a few weeks called me and tells me that her house was broken into and they have stolen her cellphone, and three hard drive.
She was so shocked and could not believe it. I told her it was normal, this things happen and are real.
This kind of behaviour is referred to as domiciliary witchcraft, it is not the magic like in the Originals or something, however it can go to that level, but for now I am talking in the first domain. The natural state, where people you trust are who are destroying you. In my mother tongue, oshiwambo; there is a saying that goes “what eats the bean is what is inside with it”. Beans are usually in a pod shell, now if there is a worm or insect inside, you will not see it, but it will devour the beans therein. That is the same with these people. They are usually close to you and they know everything about you.
In this cases the worst thing is that the victim can never bring themselves to accept or understand that it is that person.
If you find such a person in your life you the following can help:
- You need to completely disconnect from them.
The reason why they hurt you so bad, was that they new too much about you. If you find out who they really are the best thing to do is to stay away from them. If they are so close as your siblings or spouse, then avoid telling them of your future plans. If you are with a snake act like one or else it will bit you. It is not always that there’s an antidote for the venom.
2. You need to understand that it is not about you
Most of the time, victims end up thinking that they have done wrong. This type of behaviour draws from the beginning of time. Abel never did anything to Cain, he was just minding his own business, but Cain ended up killing him. They always see what you do not see. When you think you are too fat, too short or too tall, to them you have something they do not have. But instead of them focusing on changing or becoming better, they focus on you instead. To eliminate you.
Part 2 next week.